No one can tell you how to live your life. They can make suggestions, give opinions and some will even try to slyly persuade you to do exactly what they want you to do, but ultimately the decision is yours. You have an obligation to yourself, that obligation is to make yourself happy at all times. Even if you being happy means others will object to your methods and criticize your choices. Before you make that life altering decision, be certain that it is what you want to do wholeheartedly and you will be happy with your decision no matter the outcome.
Does it feel right? Is it smart?
I like to do what I want. That ranges from going to see a movie by myself because I’m the only one that likes Marvel movies (shout out to my 11yr old nephew who’s my new Marvel movie friend lol), to trying a new face product that might potentially peel my face off but I’ll try it anyways. If it feels right to me then I’m going to do it. Moving to another state was something that felt right. An energy was pulling me out of the NY/NJ area but I was not sure where it was directing me. I’ve never been afraid to just do something, however, I like to see at least 5 steps ahead of the decision to appease the control freak in me. I took a few weeks to lay out this move, all possible scenarios to make sure i was make a smart move. I know that nothing ever goes exactly as planned, so I would have to remain calm if those “5 steps ahead” didn’t happen in order.
No one has to understand your WHY
People will wonder why you’ve made such decisions. They will itch to know what your actual plan is. But your plan is not for them to comprehend. I moved from NY/NJ to Virginia and some people I met in Virginia would have this look their face like I was some anomaly when I said I didn’t own a vehicle. “You don’t have a car?”, “How are you getting around?”, “Uber is expensive you know!”. It felt as if they saw me as some idiot who didn’t know what she was doing or what she got herself into. I was fully aware of what I had to endure. It was the price I was prepared to pay when I moved and when I accepted the job offer knowing what my commute would look like. Yet, that was for me to know and not anyone else.
Questioning yourself is perfectly fine
You will have so many people in your ear that you might start to repeat what they say. Now you’re second guessing yourself, wondering if you did make the right choice. A slight wave of regret might come over you but you have to demolish those negative thoughts. Those outside opinions should not cause you to change your course. I have to be intentional with sticking to my plan and not wavering based on the opinions of others. I take a moment to clear my head of all the clutter and refocus on my purpose. it’s ok to take some advice into consideration of course.
Trust your process
Believe in yourself and find comfort in knowing you are capable of making the best decisions for your life. It will be scary and might cause a slight anxiety attack but there is nothing that you can’t conquer.
“You the type to Instagram yo breakfast in the morning”, that’s what the little boy said to Chris Brown in his “No Guidance” music video. It’s funny to me because some people really make a living off of doing something like that. I salute the hustle, sometimes I wish I can “make it big” by being an “influencer” but then I think about how much of their daily lives they make public. As private as I am, I don’t think I can wholeheartedly be an influencer and provide the content that will elevate me to the highest level of popularity in the social media world.
Revealing your life on social media has become second nature to some. Those who take a picture before they take a bite of their food or a sip of their drink. Those who turn to their media platforms to vent about an issue they’re having with their family or friend. Those who travel simply to document their activities throughout the entire trip. Elaborate date nights and proposals recorded to show the world in hopes of going “viral”. New couples sometimes find themselves arguing over making their relationship known on social media as a way to solidify the union. Because, is the relationship even real if your “followers” don’t know about it?
For the non influencers like me, I think we can agree that we post what we want on social media. Some adventures of mine will make it on Instagram, you can even get my favorite song of the week or the infamous “in the gym mirror pic” when I’ve had an intense workout session. Some days I am enjoying my time and soaking in the moment so much that I will put my phone away, or record and save for later lol. I read an article that said people were renting private jets to take pictures to post on social media giving the illusion that they fly in style. These jets never left the tarmac!! If it’s not your career, live your life for you and not for the views of other people. *link to article attached* http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2017/10/you-can-rent-a-grounded-private-jet-to-take-instagram-photos.html
That fabrication made me think about how many other social media posts are fabricated….relationships maybe? I’ve heard of fake YouTube relationships just to get views. I know of some popular pages that will post a picture of a couple sporting the biggest smiles and looking very much in love but behind the scenes they are unhappy and arguing majority of the time. We should keep that in mind before we compare our lives to others and possibly envy what we see them post. It’s easier to post the happy times with smiles and a full heart. And that makes the “relationship goals” hashtag misleading. What we see on the forefront does not tell the story of what these couples had to overcome to be the unit they are today. In some cases, it is only just a picture and the relationship is in total disarray at that very moment.
We shouldn’t look to the internet for validation. We don’t need everyone to see that we are in that person’s life for us to believe that we mean something to them. Being a #MCM or #WCW does not mean the person loves you any more or less. Nor does it prove that your relationship is stronger than anyone else who hasn’t posted their bae on their page. It’s more than ok to keep some aspects of your life private. I am a firm believer in energies and some of those followers may not like seeing you happy with a partner. Their negative thoughts can transfer to your relationship energy and cause an imbalance.
Although social media has become a career source for influencers documenting their lives. It should not be confused with real unedited life. An Instagram post is not the blueprint for a happy life. I could personally do without the headache of who likes what picture or which picture to post to show how “happy” I am with a partner. I prefer the real life happiness. The brunches with your girls, the trips to the winery or beer garden or happy hour on a Thursday when y’all know damn well y’all got work in the morning. The movie date nights, the amusement park trips, or the cooking dinner together nights. The quality time spent can never be captured in a picture and portrayed properly on any social media platform.