Self-awareness hurts like a bitch. It feels like I’m yelling at myself everyday and getting upset about things I’ve done in the past. Wondering if I’m actually a good person or if I just pretend to be. Deciding if certain words should leave my mouth or remain a thought because of how that person would receive it. Allowing myself to feel satisfied with my life choices.
I was always a people-pleaser. To the point of never putting myself first but making sure other’s were “good”. It doesn’t have to be a weakness if there’s a balance. I can still do the necessary actions for myself before being there for someone else. I can put myself in the right state of mind before I talk a phone call or give advice.
I love my family. Would do anything for them, in my power of course. I value a strong family connection based on respect and love. Some family members don’t think they should respect you because you’re younger than them so that can make it a bit difficult to love them. Some I have removed from my life completely. Some I love from a distance. Others I am trying to accept for who they are now and not who I’ve known them to be. The right friends are even family sometimes and that realization when you see your friend as your family is a beautiful moment.
I stand firm in what I believe. As someone who has noticed her own growth, I am happy with who I have become. The new me might not be someone that people in my life want to be around. Maybe the old version of myself was easier to deal with and that’s ok. She’s a memory now but this version is even better. I am that goofy person who will make a joke out of pretty much everything. I believe that I am the only person responsible for my happiness and I carry on as such. Not everyone will understand me and the way I think. I had a conversation with someone about a celebrity, and they felt as if this celebrity was mean and dismissive because of how she has interacted with her fans. But I viewed her as in tuned with herself and that she doesn’t simply accept everything that is given to her, she is selective with her energy. I believe that being selective with your energy can bring more peace and that’s something else I am proudly incorporating into my lifestyle. My strengths are increasing daily so make sure you’re upgrading your strengths as well.