Making Difficult Life Decisions

Is this something I will be happy with long term?

No one can tell you how to live your life. They can make suggestions, give opinions and some will even try to slyly persuade you to do exactly what they want you to do, but ultimately the decision is yours. You have an obligation to yourself, that obligation is to make yourself happy at all times. Even if you being happy means others will object to your methods and criticize your choices. Before you make that life altering decision, be certain that it is what you want to do wholeheartedly and you will be happy with your decision no matter the outcome.

Does it feel right? Is it smart?

I like to do what I want. That ranges from going to see a movie by myself because I’m the only one that likes Marvel movies (shout out to my 11yr old nephew who’s my new Marvel movie friend lol), to trying a new face product that might potentially peel my face off but I’ll try it anyways. If it feels right to me then I’m going to do it. Moving to another state was something that felt right. An energy was pulling me out of the NY/NJ area but I was not sure where it was directing me. I’ve never been afraid to just do something, however, I like to see at least 5 steps ahead of the decision to appease the control freak in me. I took a few weeks to lay out this move, all possible scenarios to make sure i was make a smart move. I know that nothing ever goes exactly as planned, so I would have to remain calm if those “5 steps ahead” didn’t happen in order.

No one has to understand your WHY

People will wonder why you’ve made such decisions. They will itch to know what your actual plan is. But your plan is not for them to comprehend. I moved from NY/NJ to Virginia and some people I met in Virginia would have this look their face like I was some anomaly when I said I didn’t own a vehicle. “You don’t have a car?”, “How are you getting around?”, “Uber is expensive you know!”. It felt as if they saw me as some idiot who didn’t know what she was doing or what she got herself into. I was fully aware of what I had to endure. It was the price I was prepared to pay when I moved and when I accepted the job offer knowing what my commute would look like. Yet, that was for me to know and not anyone else.

Questioning yourself is perfectly fine

You will have so many people in your ear that you might start to repeat what they say. Now you’re second guessing yourself, wondering if you did make the right choice. A slight wave of regret might come over you but you have to demolish those negative thoughts. Those outside opinions should not cause you to change your course. I have to be intentional with sticking to my plan and not wavering based on the opinions of others. I take a moment to clear my head of all the clutter and refocus on my purpose. it’s ok to take some advice into consideration of course.

Trust your process

Believe in yourself and find comfort in knowing you are capable of making the best decisions for your life. It will be scary and might cause a slight anxiety attack but there is nothing that you can’t conquer.

XOXO

Jess

2 thoughts on “Making Difficult Life Decisions

  1. People see me as the quiet one but I have always been the one to just get up and leave to whatever was pulling me away from my comfort zone.

    I guess you can say that I am a late bloomer cause I do not confine to what society says where I should be at a certain age or to religious people that think I should be married and have kids by now. It took me a while to push these type of pressure off of me but once I did I have been relieved to be where I am now with no extra baggage cause I’m still designing me!

    I’m not one that believes in horoscopes and other things in that nature but when ever I see my sign Sagittarius it speaks to me. We are like nomads we like change and don’t like commitment that doesn’t bring excitements.

    Your subheading «  No one has to understand your why » really struck me last year when I lost my cousin. Prior to this incident I always told myself that I would major in pre med and be a doctor but as I got older I could feel my self chanting this spell over myself despite the fact that I didn’t really know why I wanted such a career. Once everyone added the pressure that I would be Doctor Lamarre I felt like it was to late to turn away because everyone was rooting for me and as long as they can remember I would/wanted to be a doctor but that ME walked away from that career a long time ago. I contemplated in my head what other career can I substitut for medicine and still make people happy. It was like if I was trading in medicine I better be doing something that was just like that in status or something bigger that other people can brag about that I am doing. Once my cousin died I just developed a loose tongue. I didn’t care anymore and I voiced how I wanted to live my life and I didn’t feel the pressure to rehearse the speech that I would tell everyone each time they have a shocking expression on their face once I told them that I would no longer be Doctor Lamarre. So like you said no one needs to understand your why!

    1. “I’m still designing me!” I love that!!! Keep that mindset and you’ll be happy with what you choose to do with your life. Whether you a doctor or not you will still be happy with the version of yourself that you designed!

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