My online Boyfriend

Shawn was cute, 5’10” and Guyanese. He knew how to cook, planned some dates and was super nice to my younger sister. He was caring, charismatic and hilarious. I just knew he was the one. I was done with searching so it was time to delete the apps.

Oh yes the apps, because I met Shawn on an online dating app, like Tinder – did that too and a few others but this one was POF (Plenty of Fish, because apparently there are a lot of them in the sea *insert eye roll*). After a full day of exchanging messages we realized that we lived a block away from each other. Sure he could have been some stalker/murderer but I was living my life dangerously. So we decided to meet after a week of messaging. We had exchanged numbers and he was suppose to meet me at the train station when I got off work. He was 10mins late when I called with concern and not anger as he may tell it. He was at the auto shop dropping off his car, so I was ready to write him off because why didn’t he tell me he was going to be late or couldn’t make it? Why did I have to waste my free anytime minutes to call him to find out he was at the auto shop?

Well I started to walk home since I clearly wasn’t meeting him then decided to stop to get some curry chicken roti because I deserved it after the kind of day I just had. As I’m getting ready to leave the restaurant with my to-go bag I get a call from Shawn, he’s done from the auto shop and is a few minutes away from where I am. I’m not so annoyed anymore because I have food so I wait, he pulls up and I get in the car. He looks like his pictures thank goodness, accent even stronger in person, which finally made me comfortable with speaking with my own accent. See, he always asked if I could understand him because I claimed I was born in Belize but he couldn’t detect an accent. So now that he’s hearing it, my sexy just got bumped up 10points okkuurr! He drops me home after a great 5min car ride convo and as I open my door he calls me to say he wants to talk some more (but of course you do cutie). So I grant him his wish and we sit in his car in front of my apartment just talking and laughing.

So now it’s been about two months of us being in a relationship. My cousin sends me a screenshot of a profile on POF that has Shawn’s face, the other screenshot is the bio which is his exact bio. I’m actually at his house when I receive these screenshots so I’m laughing hysterically and he’s juts so confused. So I show them to him and he simply says that he just never deleted it, that he’s not active at all and hasn’t been messaging anyone on the app. He shows me his inbox on the app as proof. There was nothing to worry about, he gets up to bring me my dinner that he cooked.

Only my roommates at the time and my sister knew about him. I had this thing where I wouldn’t make him known to my family until we reached our three month mark. Well here we are at three months and after him spending the night at my apartment we kiss goodbye because I’m heading to Boston for my annual cousins’ weekend. I’m catching up with my cousins and I reveal that I’ve been dating this cute ass Guyanese dude and I have pictures of us together to prove it (my ex never wanted to take pics with me so he always seemed to be a mystery lol his story is coming soon). After my trip has ended and I’m home all comfortable I call my boyfriend Shawn who does not answer. I text him and no response. Three days pass by and finally Shawn sends me a text saying we should break up because we don’t make time for each other. Between me working 9-5 then going to school 6-8pm and him working 12-11pm we would spend nights at each other’s apartments and go on occasional dates when he wasn’t working on weekends. That schedule actually worked for me and he never complained about it so I was completely shocked.

So my online boyfriend of three months broke up with me right after I decided to tell my family about him. As upset as I was at the time I got over it quicker than my previous break up. Shawn was great but he never wowed me. With all of Shawn’s good qualities I always compared where he lacked to my ex, the ex that had broken up with me three times in four years but he was still the blueprint for the man I saw myself with. I call Shawn my refresher relationship. He was my first non long distance boyfriend and it was so weird going out on a Tuesday night, I was so use to only going out on weekends when I would travel to see ex bae. He was my last online boyfriend, and now three years later I got on another online dating app for just one week to realize that the online dating world just ain’t for me and I’m ok with that.

Dating isn’t what it use to be and we can go back and forth about what we should do now because times have changed but I’m going to stick to the old fashion way of meeting someone when I step out the house. My next boyfriend might be the next man I run into at the train station, or it might even be someone I’ve already dated. Either way, I’m looking forward to the next dating adventure life throws me into.

xoxo

Jess

It’s just pure luck that I still have this pic (I delete everything after a break up), I was so secretive back then lol, but that’s Shawn’s hand from our Vday date circa 2016.

28 thoughts on “My online Boyfriend

  1. 😂 that last picture of the “hand” almost took me out! I recently deleted my online dating apps as well. For some reason, online dating gives me anxiety and I decided that I may need to meet my husband the old fashion way as well.

    1. LOL! You know we all do that hand pic at the table girl! I have hope for us and when I find one the old fashion way I’ll blog about him too lol. Thanks for reading!

  2. This made me smile! One for selfish reason because I slightly remember that cousins weekend and I am honored to be a part of this story ❤️ and two because it’s so relatable.

  3. Good read from beginning to end. I applaud you for sharing and not allowing this to change your Future about finding your future husband!!

  4. These men will take you through it won’t they! I definitely have attempted to write off online dating also but I’m such a introvert that I truly would never meet anyone if I couldn’t from my home lol. I always hope to meet people when I’m out but I really don’t feel like many men do that nowadays or if they do it’s the ones you want to run from lol. I like the selection you can get from online dating but their are definitely some scam artist on there! Even though it didn’t work out I’m glad you were able to take something from your relationship/experience!

  5. Hi Jessica! I found your story very interesting and relatable. Reminds me of the many months I did online dating myself. The meeting them, connecting with them, hanging out with them, the decision to be monogamous and then boom suddenly it all blows up and out of nowhere comes the unexpected break up; and you’re left wondering what the hell went wrong.

    Well, I’m here to offer you hope. I did my share of online dating and despite the despair and horror of soooo many of them not working out I never dropped my standards nor did I give up and I met my husband online. You can read about it here http://racquelwrites.com/2018/07/28/5-reasons-why-online-dating-works/

  6. First of al i love that lychee martini! And secondly Shawn was not done with online dating! He covered his tracks. I recently wrote a post about “the apps” because I deleted all of my dating apps! Girl I was OVER IT! It’s the same dudes saying the same mess!
    I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post from beginning to end! And i don’t do that often!
    Shawn’s loss and you know what else? You knew from jump he wasn’t it! Our intuition never fails, his lack of consideration from just meeting up was telling but their charm pulls us back in! Stand strong chica!

  7. Never used the dating apps but I have pretty much met some really wack ass guys via social media. I stopped paying attention to the DMS and meet up requests. Thing is how does one find the love of their in this day and age.

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